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THE NEWMAN AWARDS
The race to win the coveted Alfred E. Newman Award for 2011 is off to a great start.
More applicants than last years contest. Some you have met before, some are newcomers.
Some even have track records longer than Bonnie and Clyde's Resumes.
News blogs like mine depend on these off-beat characters, weirdos, oddballs, nut-cases, self-procalimed gurus and self-annointed political and spiritual leaders of our society who manage to keep getting themselves in trouble.
Most of the time you can tell if they are lying by the simple fact their lips are moving. Tough with Mitch McConnell.
In the old days this didn't matter but the news clip of today is the death warrant of tomorrow if the wrong word at the right time belched out.
This award is devoted recognizing those who did little for the country except tear it apart and prove cranial-rectal dyslexia does exist even in 2010.
2011 Contenders
Terry Jones for his Burning Qur'an's
George Bush II for
"Everything thats wrong now"
Mike Huckabee
For Super Dumb Statements
Mitt Romney for
wasting time and money again
Sarah Palin for selfishness and she reminds you of the cheerleader that you wanted to strangle in HS.
Donald Trump for just being an arrogant rich a-hole
Ron Paul for actually having a son
Glenn Beck for his love of the NAZI's
Barry Bonds who seems to have a problem with truth
Ken Copeland for stealing money in Gods name
John Boehner for using the phrase, the American people want this or that. Must be a lot of people walking that Golf course.
Mitch McConnell for not knowing the truth if it came from his own lips if he could find his lips.
Eric Cantor for being about as open minded as Stalin
Karl Rove for being the biggest crook in history and still is in politics after doing things considered treason.
Alan Greenspan for proving 'No brilliance , just baffle em with bullshit'.
Ken Trudeau for being able to prove that suckers are born more often than Barnum predicted
Rick Scott for pulling the biggest heist in Medicare history and then getting elected to Governor from the state that got beat the most.
and a few hundred others, including the first state to be nominated. ARIZONA,
courtesy of Jan Brewer.
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