THE FORWARDED EMAIL
My mailbox doth flow over at times. Without failure every day I get all kinds emails from those who know me and unsolicited spam from those who would like to know me for whatever reason. The internet provides an ample source of internet friends which are different from real friends. Some of those emails are heart wrenching revealing stories floating the web, letters, forwarded, and forwarded again, emails taken from real life, masticated, distorted, and showing anguish that has fallen on some hapless individual.
Others involve virtueless behavior by an individual, usually from the other party, many political slanted stories and untruths some, that have been circulating since the time e-mail was invented. So you get one of these passionate emails and it asks you to forward it if you are a true American. I write back, no I’m a fake American.
Why do people forward these things? These folks who mean well and really have no clue, thinking of a perfect world in which there are no viruses, phishing, fraud and identity stealing gladly follow the plea like lemmings to "pass it on”. And many times couldn’t write anything about anything anyone would care about.
These tidbits of agony and joy can be patriotic, love of country stories, poems of the ill like "the one about the dying girl from her hospice room" and the most common, the political situation in the United States. They tug at the heart strings. Unfortunately the girl in hospice letter is a fraud, see www.snopes.com and find out the truth. Many of the political stories are just as untrue. Especially if the source is someone like Congresswoman Michelle Bachman, the Bubbling Bitch of Bullshit or a Glen Beck brain-fart.
The last thing I need in my life is another pain. I have enough to go around. The eMails that warrant radical action are the politically or racially motivated ones. I write back, to the person who sends it to me, that they need to get more information before they send or forward emails or trash mail to me.
Then, they can either not forward me the garbage, or read some real work by authors with credentials and seek better, more accurate information with reliability on their own. I’m always interested in stories and news but not fiction. After the third one I just block them if they can't take a hint. Here is what I send them and a copy to the entire list of people they forwarded.
SUGGESTED LETTERS TO EMAIL FORWARDERS
1) THE HEARTBREAKER
Dear Boris and Natasha
I would appreciate if you would remove my name from your forwarding eMail mailing list. Normally I would wrap dead fish in your forwards but in my heart I cannot find anything that smells worse than the garbage you forward in your eMails, so dead fish would be an upgrade. Unfortunately the web is not perfect and it is incredible to think it is not reviewed. This allows lots of Un-truths (lies) to be circulated by people like you who need to get a real life.
Occasionally something of truth surfaces and to those who respect the truth, it remains poignant. Thats the beauty part of the web, if the communication of thought, is real thought not lies. Thus the stuff you are sending meet the criteria for MY MAC -MAIL - PREFERENCE - RULES - EDIT -INSTANT DELETE - and similar options on a PC. Here is my stand so you know why you are being blocked. I believe in this country and settling things in an orderly manner.
I respect and appreciate your opinion on things but when you repeat information that is inaccurate, or you offer a minutum of encouragement to those who do harm, you are as bad as the author of those inaccuracies. It was the son of one of the Sioux Chief’s who said, he who carries the song of the forked tongue, is just as guilty as the forked tongue. I ask you to stop the drivel…
Thanks for removing me.
AL
2) THE POLITICAL UNTRUTH
Dear Boris and Natasha
This is where I stand. I keep an open mind and a middle of the road approach to Politics and Journalism. I am a moderate and vote independently, that means the person, not the party. Hey, both parties are corrupted, the elected officials who screw up year after year are protected by each other… by a code that few American’s are aware of or could do anything about.
If this is all you have to offer in your meager communication please cease and desist sending me this garbage. Take the time to learn some truth. It will do your soul well. I delete anything from pretend journalism coming from FOX news, breaking bulletins, or blogs by Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, Sarah Palin, O’Reilly and of the other news makers, not reporters. Mainly "what we call" Gerbil Fodder. These are stories that you pass on from the right wing.
“Gerbil Fodder” indicates they are incorrect or impolite. Gerbil Fodder refers to animals that run in caged wheels and go nowhere, like stories that are contrived. They just go around the web, the lazy read them, relish in the moment and pass them on till they fall off a cliff.
Another type of creative writing is the “Foo-Pah". In some journalism circles, foopah stands for foolish and pathetic statements without validation. This one gets a ten. When you send or forward a Foopah you are endorsing a non-truth. Thus you are both the FOO (short for fool) and The PAH, (pathetic to do something so stupid).
Any reference to racial, or religious overtones regardless by any specific faith, belief, cult or club limited to groups who are out to save America and the world by mostly spreading their tainted version of the truth with proverbs thrown in like crabgrass. Authors who take words, which may be construed, thru the use of clever sniping, and restructuring to create certain points of light at the end of the tunnel. They should look closer, that looks more like the freight train coming in from the other direction.
It is referred to as a hack job or “Lemming Juice”. Lemmings are the little animals that follow a leader off the edge of a cliff, really dumb animals. This stuff is their feed. It usually comes in Gerbil Fodder Format. (.GFF) Stuff like the stories spread about President Obama's heritage or religion.
Tea Party announcements and signage hold as much water after my dog swallowed a Lasix. After careful scrutiny of some of the signs at the last Tea Party please send them back to the fifth grade since most kids in the fifth could spell better. Like I once said, “Give enough morons enough Sanford Markers and cardboard and start your own revolution”.
The list also will stop publications by groups loyal; to Fascists, real Socialists, seems many use the word and don't know have a clue of what it means, Communists, extreme Right Wingers with Swastikas, Nazi saluting shaved heads, and former right to lifers with Remington 700’s and Doctors in their scopes.
I also do not accept any forwards, that stress “ forward this and save America”, requests to forward printed matter, current and past John Birch Society Newsletters, anything from the Son’s of Birchers, Tea Potters, Harry Potters or Pot News in general, that contains made-up info, or any non-factual slanted, corrupted, baked evidence, snipped, rewritten, drivel including publications that have been altered, spayed or otherwise gelded off the truth. OOOOps, include anything Palin says.
My list blocked also refers to old Southern Family recipes for hatred and discrimination, slavery, and the current schedule for KKK meetings even if they are serving Paula Deen's favorite butternut cake.
It is written by those who have their own agendas, don’t have an agenda, or live under the rocks and quagmire, occasionally venturing into the sunlight, and bringing their anger, angst, insecurity and lack of maturity with them. You want change you want to solve our problems, good , so do I but sending out dumb rhetoric is dumb, that simple. they suffer from paranoia sometimes called bed-pan-anoia.
If you send stuff out from your email, people either think you wrote it or you agree and validate it. With a world, country, state, county and city in turmoil, there is enough mis-information going about. It’s called POLITICS, RACISM, and ENVY, and most of it would make Dr. Joseph Goebbels proud.
“Please don’t send me stuff you think is politically correct when it has not been validated”. I probably got it from someone else already, and allready blew it out. Just because you got it from someone and you passed it on does not mean you had nothing to do with it. Respectfully again by sending it, you endorse it. So please stop sending this garbage, Im not interested.
Thank You
AL
3) THE LAST THREAT
Dear Boris and Natasha:
I’m disappointed you did not heed my compassionate request to drop me from your forward list and I have had to replace the delete key on my keyboard since you send so much of that drivel. Thus it calls for appropriate action as taken in Safari to block and delete anything that comes from you automatically and since you stupidly added you list of names, I also created a list of folks you do send this stuff to from software that creates a new mailing list of your receivers.
So I reply today with common sense, to you or I will start a campaign with those hundred folks with a few jokes and remind you to remember common decency and be aware of what you forward as you may just be the "Bearer of Bullshit”. Your BS is finally starting to surface, getting on my nerves and I am calling it "bad rhetoric, over the top and so forth”. So now all know what you are doing. Sending out crap.
I will inform them of the lies and stupidity you promulgate, your racist remarks and membership in the KKK. Your tax evasion charges, the porn on your computer, the torture chamber in your basement and other things they should be aware of. All anonymously if you do not stop.
My goodness, I am being in a nice way saying, "Unified waste matter expurgated in a globular shape, pungent with odor, produced by a ruminant bovine shaped, four-legged portable device called a cow. "Bullshit". An equine four legged portable device with extended range would produce "Horse shit”. has no place being sent to me.
AL