May 21st, 2010
WHAT HAPPENED TO CONVERSATION ?
In my quest to expand relationships and at the pressure of many customers and friends to join their teams of "associates and acquaintances", I succumbed to those who suggested my entire world would change after I joined FACEBOOK. The social network built in a college dorm my Mark Zuckerberg who is rumored to have gotten plenty of girls with the program.
Facebook was born by founder Mark Zuckerberg, and it created a company value of over $100 billion. Unrestricted commentary brings the good the bad and sometimes the ugly. More often then not creating something on your page might today land you on the top of the popularity pile and tomorrow the same comments and actions can place you six feet under the pile.
Each user determines the level to which your information is shared only by friends. BS for three reasons. First, this being the world wide web and there are more of those who can get into things than there are things to get into. Just ask Mr. Snowden and the recent apocalypse of the NSA. Second , A friend today might not be a friend tomorrow. Don’t tell me this never happens… Your job could depend on it. Employers want to know your status, not the resume you carefully crafted using many of the net programs but “ who you really are”.
In 2012 Career Builder determined that 37 percent of employers are checking out prospective employees on social media before they make a final decision. Seeking a position in government with ten pages of war with the IRS, or that DUI you claimed was faked by the cops will guarantee you the unemployment line.
WE STOPPED TALKING and STARTED MESSAGING
I joined Facebook and my world did change, unfortunately I got more junk mail, more offers for prostitution and companionship than a normal person can handle in one day. My normal amount is about 35 - 40 eMails a day mostly business. Some days that swelled close to 80 eMails daily. It was the quality of those emails and that prompted a bit of research. I have years of detective work in IT, and I write alot about bad people, I got nervous about being that open to the public arena.
To be honest it was a rabbit hole and a distraction for nothing in gain. It was not good for business, it opened doors to a lot of dead ends and worthless discussions. I was not inclined to spend my days in the Mad Hatters Maze and make them rename it to "Alan in Wonderland” ! I suppose it's OK for my imaginary friends but most of my friends and business associates whom I communicate normally and privately with, that is the real ones, I care a great deal about. I like talking with them. One on one, on a phone.
And I guess the most important thing to remember with these social sites is information you may of given years ago and forgot about suddenly pops up, revised and updated. Now there are those 78 people you have no clue about, who now know all about you, and possibly put you and with the linking attributes sometimes send the hounds your way.
I have no patience for those who want to spill guts all over the place. It gets boring. I do not care that your dog ran away, your 1997 Ford pickup threw a rod or got repossessed and you caught your gal friend sleeping with your sister, thats all good cause’s for the next big hit in country music. Nor am I interested in your newfound colonic treatments or who you had dinner with and you thought the chocolate ants weren’t that bad.
Luckily I saw this pattern develop quickly, and imagined the good I could have done with that time. The worst part was being asked to join a clique on someones list whom I had no recollection nor knowledge of and their agendas. These are not friends nor even casual aquaintences. After a month or so of community life I am earnestly looking for a small island I can purchase and hide on. The survivor thing looked good after some of the Neanderthals made contact. Sort of the lost world crew.
Dating services, scams, all kinds of offers for copulation if properly funded under the guise of massage.
I OPTED TO OPT OUT
Well, to say I am not happy would be an understatement. Immediately 40% of worthless trash mail vanished. After I opted out, things started to surface. Facebook and Twitter have always been been the target of cyber criminals due to their large user base.
- Social networking spam, PHUA clarified, include messages, status updates, and wall posts that promote a certain product.
- Click-jacking--or hiding the original spam URL through a URL shortening service--is also a prevalent method for spam.
- Cyber-criminals--who, PHUA noted, have become more notorious and financially-driven over the years--are also the main perpetrators of malware over social media.
- Recently, Facebook users were bombarded by their friends' compromised accounts with wall posts containing the "sexiest video ever," a malware that installs an adware on the user's browser once viewed.
- If you analyze what you do when you go on line with one of these networking sites you discover the following; In reality there is nothing there, it's more like the local chit-chat convention, a plethora of basically useless information except for the bigger companies who have learned how to use the players to their advantage. You could find closer more relative friends at a library or a Bruce Springsteen Concert.
- If you can't keep back all that personal information and you are just boiling to spill it, get a blog. And a fake name. There is one thing to be Sally and heres my avatar but another to be Sally and here's what my underwear looks like unless Sally makes a living at showing her underwear.
- Numbers mean nothing: You could have twenty thousand contacts, tell them you are broke, and need money. Thats how you achieve the right Karma. You can then brag at one time you "had twenty thousand contacts and friends". Traffic and numbers mean nothing. Be careful what you look for and be careful if you find it on the social networks.
CONVERSATION A LOST SOCIAL ORDER
I am an avid movie freak for good movies, and the Last Samurai with Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe brought something to bear. There are tremendous story lines in most Samurai movies. The first Samurai movies date back to the fifties in black and white and these movies do have a following.
In the 14th -17th century, Samurai or bushi were the members of the elite military class and trained to serve the landowners and Lords in feudal Japan. Their fate was sealed unless they liked being farmers. Samurai were supposed to lead their lives according to the ethic code of bushido ("the way of the warrior"). Strongly Confucian in nature, bushido stressed concepts such as loyalty to one's master, self discipline and respectful, ethical behavior.
In the movie the Samurai leader Katsumoto thanks Tom Cruise, his captive after a long winter, for his "interesting conversations". The two mortal enemies after leaving the field of combat talk to each other and find they seek the same things in life even after after a years captivity, and they become friends and eventually allies. What has happened to our "interesting conversations"?
We don't talk anymore. We are impersonal, we text, we twit, we communicate in savage tongues and burped words. We have aliases and fake mail accounts to hide our faces. Most of which we do is useless or worthless conversation. It reflects in our society, our children's education, and creates false empires.
My close friend and neighbor Jim Wise passed away last year, I volunteered to speak and eulogize him at his funeral and this movies story came to me…
St. JEROME’S CATHOLIC CHURCH 2013
It is with great sadness that I stand in front of you today in this House of Worship to remember the life of my good friend Jim Wise. We spent many, many hours together. I am happy to see so many of Jim’s, friends, neighbors and relatives attending. And I know that many of you traveled a long way to be here, and I truly believe Jim would be incredibly appreciative to see you. He is looking down as we speak and... he knows you are here.
Almost nine years ago Jim interviewed me and my late wife Dolly when we applied to live at Country Club Condominiums. A simple one-hour interview turned into many hours of conversations with “the Mayor of Building Three” as he was well known by. I believe one of the members of the Home Owners Association gave him that nickname after he served almost three terms on the HOA board. He took an active interest in serving and knew just about everything that was going on at the condos. He always had a word or something to talk about whether at the communal mailbox, or when he was tinkering in his garage. When we had problems in the building, he was there, contributing to the problem solving.
After I lost my wife, almost six years ago, I still made a full pot of coffee every morning as I had done for decades. And it became a ritual to share a cup of “Jo” with JIM and continue our conversations on a daily basis. It was the 9:00 O’ clock coffee break, unofficial but just like the Euro trains, he was always on time.
Why waste good fresh coffee? I had plenty and he liked coffee. He also had a sweet tooth and liked the French Vanilla Bean, two spoons of NesQuick Chocolate and a splash of Irish Mist flavoring. It was his favorite pick-me-up and elixir. Today they bottle it and sell it with a five-hour guarantee. It was Jim’s pick me up, old school.
Many days we had breakfast together. He was my test bed for cooking, like “Mike-ee” in that commercial, he’d try anything I made. He liked my cooking and we had a lot of fun and a couple laughs together.
With the onset of his Macular Degeneration and other pertinent health issues, he began losing his sight rapidly. I could see the importance of our time we spent together, I was keeping him in touch with the world. His expression, “so what’s the latest news or gossip?” I said, “We better go to the paper, ain’t nothing going on here“. We went through the paper together, I read he listened, and we talked about everything from football to politics, and we both agreed, college football is better and many politicians are closely related to crooks.
When he didn’t or couldn’t show, I called to see if he was OK. He saw his world dimming but he still wanted to know what was going on. This was his time. And a movie made me think .
I must digress for a moment…A movie starring Tom Cruise (played Algren) and Ben Watanabe (played Katsumoto) called “The Last Samurai” did well at the box office. It was the story of an American military advisor hired to do away with the Samurai rebels who were resisting the overtaking of Japan by greedy Western influence in the late 1800’s.
Our hero was wounded and captured by the rebel Samurai Warlord. After being held for almost a year, and gradually through “Intelligent Conversation” they shared their thoughts and feelings. They got to know and like, respect and be honest with each other. Getting to know his captor’s culture, he embraces the Samurai Code. He had realized the Samurai were the good guys in this story. It started with simple conversation over a cup of tea and they became friends.
CONVERSATION IS A MISSING ART TOADAY
We do not converse, we technically communicate. Our electronic conversation is cold blooded, limited to texting, voice mails, twits and tweets. Some written by those who are real nit-twits and can’t spell and would be better off speaking to each other.
Just look at our position in the world in education, namely Math and Science (education wise) which has sunk to new lows. In fact being 17th and 25th, in the world is nothing to brag about. It shows in the communication. Some messages I get are so cryptic, you would think they were done on a WWII German Enigma machine that baffled the famed British code-breakers. I have no clue as to what some things mean or are supposed to mean.
Jim’s Legacy was Intelligent Conversation…he never twitted, tweeted or even got on the computer but he could converse and have an intelligent conversation about what was around him and it grew smaller with his vision loss.
Losing someone you respected is never easy, but when their life is taken away so rapidly, it is that much more difficult. There are many un-filled questions I would throw at him if he were here today. I will miss my friend and I hope that these words will help alleviate some of the grief we are are all feeling today.
If he were here now at this podium, he would tell us to cheer up, smile and remember all of the great memories we can all share with each other, positive thoughts. Even though Jim may be gone, his memory will live on in some of us. I appreciated your friendship, Jim, I appreciated the “Intelligent Conversation”.
Everyone should start their day and share their world with others and a cup of coffee is a really good place to start. He drank out of this cup in my hand for many years. This is Jim’s cup, the one he always used. It says on it “Friends are the flowers of the heart”. It is now for his beloved Geraldine to have it.
And with that I say sleep well, rest and speak well my friend, I know you are in a good place…and as entertaining as ever… Even when God spoke to Moses, Moses knew he had part of a good conversation, now it is your turn.
SOCIAL BRANDING
Today you can be all you want to be if you have the desire and the resources. Your career, paths in religion, goals and achievements are yours if you wish. And sometimes made easier by joining the right club or party or organization. Just look at the biggest truth spinners, liars, false prophets and frankly see how well they have done by joining the right club.
Karl Rove, Cheney comes to mind, Limbaugh and Hannity, and so forth for starters. All thrown out from college, but belonged to the Republican Youth Group sometimes fashioned after Dr. Goebbels master plan.
You make your own decisions based on information provided by others. Was the information and your decision based on truth. Not always can the media be trusted. 60 % of the Republican voters surveyed because of one media station constant banter thought President Obama was not born in the USA. Even today. Stupidity is like glue, once it dries it’s hard to get rid of. Even though the truth was a clear as daylight, it was a biased, non-factual, prejudiced, bold-faced, LIE and promoted by the likes of FOX news, celebrity politicians like Ted Cruz, the Pauls, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman. Short on factual brain powers, long on rhetoric.
It proved Dr. Goebbels was right, tell a lie, a big one, often and loud and the masses will believe it. Our two party system has become the Dumbos and Jackasses filled with lies and deceit. They are warriors without "interesting conversations".
Everything you see or hear today comes from snips, spins, and loud entertaining show hosts with minimal education and creativeness, but an ability to stir the masses through their rhetoric. Truth? Doesn't matter. You are part of the team and the party, right or wrong you are part of it. It is safe to say belonging sometimes is more important than being.
Ratings matter. Ratings mean money and power. It's because we all want to belong, to be part of. Too many of us are pre-programmed by belongsmanship and don't care to learn about who or what are we really endorsing. It's easier to respond, prejudge rather than investigate, and question, rather than define, and plan a course of action. That course might be your future. Cue the patriotic music! Be a part of the party!
In case the cave you live in doesn't have an outlet, and your laptop is as dead as your brain, the folks who gain from Farce-book are The Facebook People who sell your info. How can you not charge for something and yet the corporation for Facebook made a BILLION plus dollars last year. And it’s net worth is estimated at 100 Billion. Think on that one.
Like reality TV, there is an absence of civility, shouting matches and the result of all this media gain, the branding of ones beliefs, the art of belonging to the right things, the party and its partisanship leads to a society of blamesmanship. We spend more time looking to blame than to fix. It is the most crucial change in our society. Big business valued the customer till they got so big, they valued the shareholders more.
Everything they do is for the market and shareholders. The middle class consumer became literally a second class citizen in this play. Jobs were lost, sent overseas and the shareholders made more money. Congress is like big business, they got so big, they value their shareholders, the lobbyists and corporations more so than the consumers which we are. We have ceased to enjoy "interesting conversations”.