JOES CRAB CRAP SHACK
- Rt 60 Clearwater Near Us 19
THIS IS NOT WHAT WE GOT
This is like a trip to Disney, all expectation and a let down. The joke was, “ We put mice in a maze to see how smart they were, the mice ran the maze, did it again and again got faster and got to the corn. Then the mice grew up and swore revenge, their leader whose name was Mickey who buys some land in Orlando.
And today he puts humans on lines like in a maze to see how smart they are, some wait on line for hours in the sun for an adventure and Mickey rewards them with a fast ride in thirty-seconds of corn at the end.”
The place is meant to look like a Crab Shack but the noise, the food and the prices reminded me of a headache I had in 2005 after nasal surgery. That was a bad headache. The food sucked, the outlandish bullsh*t singing by the actors ( waiters and waitresses) sucked, the whole evening sucked and I apologized to my friends.
The food was one step above Long John Silvers, well maybe a half step. OK it was worse… The buckets make you think you are getting something for the money. You had hoped it was value. No, it was just a cheap heavy bucket and you can’t keep it.
Something instinctively told me this was all about themes and not the food and they screwed both up.
You are not getting value, they are overpriced and I walked out hungry, no breaded rolls or nothing for an appetizer or time killer like peanuts or dip. Nothing for their price structure. I didn't expect steak tartare, but how about a roll and butter for a 25.00 pot or a small salad. A fifty dollar bill at this place is just not worth it, as forty dollars was overcharge.
The POT, consisted of four crab claws, one string of juvenile king crab, about four legs and a dozen mini-clams which were hard. Oh, corn on the cob. Thats it folks. I have had more value in Seafood at my Chinese Buffet which is all you devour for 16.00. Half of this abomination and the buffet went downhill during the pandemic and never recovered, they suck.
The atmosphere sucks, it's loud, sometimes stupid, and more screaming happy birthday bullshit, loud music, noise and fake dancing and singing by the waiters. True morons will enjoy this. On their web page, many others said the same thing. Best described as a tourist trap, locals don’t favor this place. We know where the good seafood is...
In droves, just check Google. I was not alone, poor value, poor food, bad atmosphere and service tried but too bound by archaic company policies written by people who better learn like Disney, if you are going to charge that much, drop the themes crap and concentrate on the quality and presentation of the food, thats what people go back for. After all it's supposed to be a restaurant.
On two other occasions we still found the silly antics, annoying staff probably pushed by management that isn't in the food business. They would have less complaints if they concentrated on the food and not the entertainment. After all you are going to a fairly expensive meal ticket with beverage cost of about thirty-five dollars per head and didn’t want the "E" ticket for it's a Small World or to be the princess at Chucky Cheese.
We found the Red Lobster cheaper and a hell of a lot quieter. Red Lobster is a corporate beanie counting franchise chain, very expensive for what you get but no one sings or make you feel like a fool for going there. My associate who accompanied me on this excursion, thought it was a dump in terms of service, quality, presentation, value and…..
Other People Thought — We got the usual Disney lovers, folks whose comments like, great, awesome, loved the singing and dancing BS etc. They would applaud cardboard if cooked tender enough. They were less than 10%, But after digging we found a few other thoughts from the other 90%.
😮 The best thing about this place is their “ Aruba Salad” (which, ironically doesn't contain seafood). If you like a family-friendly, party-all-the-time type place, then this is for you.
SIDEBAR: We suggested better places for Seafood. Big corporations are top-heavy with management who do nothing but get big paychecks. There are smaller places to get seafood in Tampa Bay, this is not one of them, and the key is private business not a franchise or corporation, the small guy reinvests and recirculates it’s money and profits back into business. Corporations pay their execs and basically give you nothing in return.. This joint is pure tourist trap.
😮 Pretty much a Red Lobster… it’s louder, stupid and more cajun flavors. I didn't taste much but butter. I personally think it's overpriced for what it is. There wasn't anything bad about the place but I don't leave thinking I can't wait to come back.
😮 I have eaten at Joe’s Crabs Shacks all over the USA. The ones in Houston,TX are the best. The farther away from Houston, the worse they become. First of all, on a Saturday night, we had a 1-1/2-hour wait. Then the food portions were smaller. Joe's use to serve larger food portions and salads, which they have cut out. My brother visiting from out of town had to order two dinners to feel full (He's a small fella).
😮 Why waste time looking for Joes, when you can get the same quality food at Red Lobster, and get a salad with your order and free biscuits too. Joe's have gone crabby and downhill in the last 5-years.
😮 I can understand one dirty beer glass (barely). But to get two? I'm sorry.. maybe I'm expecting too much. The first one was really, really obvious... two big globs on the outside of the glass. What really irked me was that the 2nd one, although smaller, was inside the glass. The response? "Well, the glasses are frosted, so it's hard to see that the glass is dirty."
😮 From the bartender to the manager, that was the response. What ever happened to underpromise and overdeliver? My reward was a bigger glass of beer and a healthy dose of wariness. Looks like my shadow won't be passing over their threshold anytime soon
👮♀️This is What The Food Police Thought — August 3,6, 9th, 2021
Bottom Line - Too Expensive To Retest — Find another place to eat, this place is overpriced, stress over load, over gimmicked, no sides, too little for too much, disappointed, and wevwill not return as indication are we would be wasting money.